Again why the post-wedding blog?

My wedding brought out into the open a veritable minefield of unresolved issues about my personal relationships. I'm sure that some of these things were always around but only got the attention they deserved during that emotionally-intense time. I realised that there were many crucial things about my relationships that I had chosen to ignore for a very long time, things that I could no longer continue to ignore.

In short, the wedding wasn't merely a materially expensive rite of passage, it was an important cathartic event in my life.

After the drunken and giddy celebrations and the honeymoon, I found myself sitting in my small apartment scribbling thank you letters. It was at that moment that I realised the wedding was going to change my life, but not in the way one would ever expect a wedding to do. It wasn't going to change my financial means, or spiritual well-being, and or social status (other than perhaps the fact that I became entitled to use my husband's last name).

What it did was to focus on the substance - the quality - of my friendships and my familial relationships. In doing this, I somehow achieved a sense of clarity about which relationships needed nurturing and work, and which ones needed to be let go. It was this last thing that sent me to a very lengthy post-wedding self-reflection when I found myself harmonising a sense of peace and a very real and painful sadness.

I am an extremely loyal person. "Like Bertie the dog", an ex-boyfriend once said. (Sounds 'bitchy' I know but trust me he meant it as a loving compliment, and excuse the pun). I don't have problems discarding material belongings but letting go of people, of human relationships is something I have never consciously done.

So the post-wedding blog began.